Saturday, May 01, 2004

It seems like everytime i write in here I have something bad to say, I think thats just part of who I am its hard for me to be inspired to write unless I have some sort of overewhelming emotion that is eating at me while Im writing. I just dont understand the way life works sometimes. I mean, spirtually I believe in a higher power but there is something I just dont understand about the way this world works. Why are we attracted to people, or develop feelings for people that dont feel the same way? Its shitty. Its really shitty Ive seen it happen to so many people who pine away for someone with all they have and there is nothing they can do because the person doesnt feel the same way back about them. Its happened to me where there has been a person who has cared about me in a way I never could back about her. IT makes me sad to think about... but... it hits home the hardest when you personally have feelings for someone who doesnt have them for you. Usually I would just shun them off and just stop seeing them to make it easier, but she is one of my best friends so I have to do this whole bigger man I'll do anything to stay your friend thing. I mean in theory its easy to do... just let yourself not care about her and try not to show it... but in reality its one of the hardest things any person has to face. So here I am. happy that I have such an awesome friend, but at the same time as soon as I start thinking about how great she is it sucks! In a perfect world god would have us all set up to only care or be attracted to a person who will unconditionally feel the same about you. But this isnt a perfect world. Its not even fucking close.
Mike at 3:23 PM